Soooo not worth it. Or is it?

DC boo…hmm, bet you’re DYING to be filled in, right. Well here we go. I was kinda MIA this past weekend, having a freakin blast…which I will indeed blog about. But I wasn’t too available for DC boo. Not that he was calling or anything, but I did make it a point to text him throughout my day. Evidently me trying wasn’t good enough. He hit me with the okie doke on Sunday, talking about he thinks it better if we remain friends.

During our talk, we got a lot of the negative things out the way and figurerd that was what was wrong with our relationship. Then I mentioned reasons why I felt we shouldn’t be together. I really don’t know why I mentioned it, but it was in a different context. I was trying to let him know those reasons and tell him that I cared so much that I disregarded. Or maybe I was telling him that so that I wouldn’t feel so hurt by his decision to be friends. My memory fails me.

Either way, he cried. Of course we were on the phone, so I couldn’t see the tears, but I felt them. They actually melted my heart. I don’t know if this is something he does for kicks, but I was pulled back in. We decided that being together was way better than being friends.

So after a few frustrations, we swing back into things like they were. He at one point requested that I be available to him earlier during the week, not only so we could talk more, but so that I can get to bed on time. So I obliged him on that and came home earlier.

However, he still didn’t call until 12 or so. On this past Tuesday, we were texting and he says BRB @ 9:30-ish. Well, I just sit and watch TV and when I realize it’s been some time, I am irritated because all that keeps playing in my head is him saying he wishes that we could talk earlier in the week. I made myself available and it didn’t matter to him. So the messages I send him are not pleasant.

He finally returns at 12:30. I am livid! He had an asthma attack and got mad at me because my first reaction was to attack him. However, he could have easily said “BRB asthma issue”. But I was left not knowing what was going on. Granted, I could have been concerned, but I didn’t know I had to considering I had no idea where he went.

7/20 and just now finishing this up….

Well we have had a heck of an emotional rollercoaster ride. Back and forth we seem to go. Once I am comfortable and settled into this relationship, he pulls the rug from under me again and I am lost. Then once again sweet talks/explains his way back into my heart. It’s nerve-racking to deal with this because once I decide that I am ready to leave him alone, he pulls be back into his magic.

It’s almost like I just can’t leave him alone. It’s like I am am caught in the matrix. Something happens that I don’t like, we talk about it, and move forward. And in typing this, I guess I realized that that’s what happens in relationships. There is conflict, you maturely communicate about these conflicts then you move on and learn from whatever the verdict was. I feel as though I am so quick to want to dismiss the whole relationship when something happens that I don’t like.

I am a serial relationshipist. Wow. Except the difference with this one is, I just can’t get out. So, it must be worth it.

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