Difference Between Alone and Lonely?

What a long week! I am so glad it’s Friday! Although I am beginning to become an old fart, so that doesn’t even matter. My Fridays usually consist of me going home, making myself a nice dinner, eating it in front of my TV, then relaxing for the rest of the evening and falling asleep early. And loving it. LOL I can’t believe that I am 24 years old, living in one of the greatest cities in the world and this is what I do on Friday nights.

Well, that’s why I have been actively pursuing new friends because it’s nice to have someone or ones to do things with. As of right now, I have a small core group of friends and y’all already know that story. These fools hardly want to do anything! Friends that are wifed or hubbed up are worse! They want to spend their every waking moment with their significant others and it’s like ok o_O. But I digress. My independence is the hotness, but I get lonely. You already know that story too.

I guess I’m saying this to say, I need excitement in my life. While I am young, unattached and independent…I need to stimulate my life. I need one of those shock, CLEAR! things…

My pulse for adventure is weak and I need to do something to strengthen it. Money is always a factor pulling me back from being able to enjoy exciting things, but it’s not as much as an issue as it used to be. The only other thing that I feel is holding me back is me standing alone. Sometimes you want to experience new things with someone else. It kinda takes the excitement out of it to be alone, let’s say in Paris, Morocco or backpacking across Europe. And then of course things like flying in a hot air ballon or helicopter, bungee jumping or flying trapeze are the kind of things that doing alone, can be very scary.

I have always been one of the friendliest people that I know, in all honesty and I never would have thought at the prime of my life, it would be like this. I never thought that I would be in dire need of friendship. It was just something that always came naturally. I got along with everyone, so I was never in a certain group. I floated around to them all. So maybe that’s what I’m missing. Experience in a foundation of friends.

I moved around a lot as a kid, so sometimes getting pulled from schools would uproot my friendships. I always managed to handle it well and adjust at my new school and even make new lasting friendships. Most of those dissolved in time as we all moved along to college.

Then, I made college friends, which some I have been able to keep. But I uprooted my entire life this time by my choice and moved to NYC. Here, I have been able to make more acquaintances, but nothing like a long, meaningful, intense friendship…especially with women. Which leads me to my always alone dilemma. What’s an independent woman to do? How will I develop these intense friendships that I crave so that I won’t have to be so dang alone and lonely all the time?


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